Where's yall's kin? Are yall kin ta me?

We likes our kinfolk here in Kinfolkville. We also likes
republicans. Are yall republican? We likes republicans acause we is
dumber than sheeyut. We dont bother with land use plannin here, ecept
fer that we lets the builders do the plannin cause we knows that
whatever be good fer business is jes plain good. If ye done bot one
of our new houses and discovered that the soil aint really soil and
that the workmanship were a joke, then jes sell in a few years and it
wont be yer worry. Ifn you be an only child with no cousins and be
already over 40 and male, then we dont suggest that you move here from
up north sommers because ye aint gonna fit in. We dont like men that
speaks correct english and we prefers our kin and life long frins
anyways so stay away, unless you be one o them ther corporate fast
trackers what kin fit in with a clique. We likes to drive fast and
loose, so hold onto yer hat. In case of mishap, we got auto body
shops on ever corner, lots of hospitals too. Ifn you think you be too
dumb to fit in here then you dont need to worry cause nobody is
dumber than we is.